Swingers Tips and Etiquette
Interaction at a swingers club is essentially common sense but as they say, common sense isn’t all that common so here are a few things for your consideration before coming to our venue.
First impressions here, like anywhere in life, are all important. Before arriving we recommend you ensure your personal hygiene is spot on. Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an body odour or bad breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive. It is amazing how much good prep work can be undone by the time taken to drive here, stop for a meal etc. We have a shower, towels, deodorant, mouth wash etc all available for your use when you arrive and for between encounters. All rooms have hand sanitiser and we strongly recommend its use for the comfort and safety of all before play, between partners and at the end of play.
We require guests to dress in an appropriate manner, no board shorts, hats, thongs (on feet) tatty or dirty clothes. The degree to which you dress provocatively is your choice. Whilst we don’t have any rules re nudity in the public areas we do recommend a towel, sarong or some such when not playing. Most women find it quite off putting to have naked men in the public areas, trying to get past them in an often crowded situation without making unwanted contact. Men who parade around naked are not doing themselves any favours as most of the women will avoid them in droves.
At all times be aware not everyone thinks the same as you. If someone is not comfortable with your attentions take notice and move on. Always be courteous, a simple no thankyou is all that is needed if you’re not interested. If people are playing in an open room it often, though not always, means they are open to having others join them so feel free to ask. As with all situations in the swing scene, if you get a polite no thanks accept it and move on.
It is extremely poor behaviour to be in an open room, not playing and to talk loudly. It’s distracting to those who are playing and usually unwanted by others who are quietly enjoying the view. It’s also unpleasant for those playing if you take up a position on the end or side of the bed without invitation.
Many who attend swingers events are there purely for the social side of it, never assume that if someone is there they want the same thing you do.
Do not take someone to the club without them being fully informed as to the nature of the event. It is embarrassing for them and you. It is considered extremely poor form to take someone purely so you can get in cheaper as a couple and then ditch them so you can play while they are left alone floundering in a corner not really knowing what is going on.
Abusive, threatening or generally obnoxious behaviour will see you being asked to leave the club.
HOW TO APPROACH THOSE YOU’RE INTERESTED IN
Good manners are always a good foundation for any social event including a swingers club. Nothing will turn people off quicker than an inappropriate approach. This particularly seems to occur with men approaching women and couples. They seem to think a “hi do you want to go to a room” is a super smooth, hard to resist invitation. On the contrary it is neither smooth nor inviting and even if the person would’ve normally been interested you have instantly lost them with this approach. Swingers are normal people and a lot of the lifestyle is about social interaction as well and sexual interaction. Like any social event a simple approach “Hi my name is ****, this is my first time, how about yourself?” or some such leading to a general discussion eventually leading, if you get the right vibes, to asking what they’re looking for and if it sounds like you may be a likely candidate for their wish list enquire if they’d be interested in spending some time with you in an intimate encounter.
If you get a polite no thankyou do not ask why. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say no at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Do not ever forget that. Men who think it is ok to always join in on others when they’re playing , never doing the basic ground work, will soon learn word gets around and their attention will be shunned – taking the time to have a conversation first shows you have some class and style. Just because you’ve enjoyed time with someone on a previous occasion does not guarantee they’ll welcome you again. Never take anything for granted, always ask.
ONLY DO WHAT IS FUN FOR YOU
Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want. At any time if you become uncomfortable with a situation, even if you had given a yes earlier, feel free to change that to a no thankyou and remove yourself from the situation.
One of the basic etiquettes in swinging is the right of anyone to say no. Experience has taught most people that everybody is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, however, can lead to a lot of hurt feelings. The swing world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say no to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple “No, thank you”. Never, even if pushed to do so, give an explanation because that is what usually causes others to feel bad about the rejection.
As a couple, set rules and boundaries before you get to the club. Every couple has different rules and the key is to not change them mid party. If you want to re-negotiate them the time to do so is when you are sober and calm not when you’ve had a few drinks and are hot to trot. If you find someone(s) you’re keen to play with make sure everyone is on the same page before you get into a room. Discuss anticipated levels of involvement, safe sex, boundaries, rules etc If it seems there is a gap between the expectations of those looking to play it may be best to not proceed.
EXCESSIVE USE OF ALCOHOL
Whilst having a few drinks if you so wish is quite often the norm excessive use is frowned upon. There is nothing sexy about a heavily intoxicated person and your chances of getting a “yes please” will be severely reduced. Aside from developing “performance issues” you may also find yourself being asked to leave the club.
Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.